In This Moment
by ShikariPanick
Summary: Sakura realizes the truth of Sasuke's abandonment and gives up on bringing him back. She becomes stronger than anyone ever thought. Funny how they come back.


**Canon up until Sasuke's departure.**

In This Moment

Chapter One _Prayers_

"I heard she went mad with grief when the Uchiha boy left."

"Poor thing!"

"Been working herself to the bone..."

"Doesn't talk much, does she?"

The pinkette doesn't wince at these words. She doesn't show any sign of recognition. She'd learned to filter such things out. She had bigger and better things to focus on.

Being only 11:00 in the morning, it was time for Sakura's second training session, also the longest, lasting until whenever her Tsunade called for their official training.

It'd been a few months since Sasuke's departure and the failed retrieval.

Sakura brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

She's been losing herself in training. Nothing would stop her from getting him back.

Nothing would hinder her from being on his side.

Her feelings towards him were what were driving her. Though in her immaturity she hadn't always been good enough for him- he'd always been her inspiration, her hero, he was everything she wanted to be.

How could she let that go?

The training grounds weren't empty, various teams training and laughing together. Her team , squad 7, wasn't in existence at the moment. Naruto was running off with Jiraiya, Sasuke was captured, and Kakashi was otherwise uninvolved with her life.

She'd learned to numb it. She'd have to if she wanted to bring them all back...

She somehow managed to find an empty spot large enough for her purposes. The stares of familiar faces burned into her back. But bonds like those seemed meaningless without her boys, the ones who'd mattered the most.

"Sakura!"

The voice carried in the wind. Sakura didn't reply, she just took her stance. She summoned a clone of herself with a decent amount of chakra then began her match. Chakra infused punches, hand to hand, and even some Jutsus she's been practicing.

Her fist collided into the clone's face one last time, before it vanished. Sakura huffed and puffed sweat drenching her. She'd been at it for a few hours.

Clapping behind her echoed throughout the training area.

"Well done, Sakura. But are you ready for me?"

Sakura spun around in time to block the attack but was flung backwards none the less.

Tsunade stood before her, grinning. She extended a hand to her student and Sakura reluctantly took it.

Inside of her, she ached for Kakashi to be the one lifting her off her ass.

"You been making much improvements, Sakura." Tsunade praised.

'Not enough..'

"Thanks, Tsunade-sama."

Sakura wondered if now would be a right time to ask, if...

"Ano, shishou, do you think I could perform a summoning technique?"

Tsunade was rather taken aback by this question. "Do you mean my slugs?"

Sakura shook her head. "I don't think. I wanted my own animal."

Tsunade gave Sakura a pointed look. "You do not own these animals. They are companions, allies. Not possessions."

"I understand, shishou."

The older woman paced the area and observed her student. Carefully she said, "I can help you with this, and give you the proper scrolls if..."

Sakura stared at her sensei, eager for her next words.

"You allow the Gods to bring your animal to you."

Sakura stared with wide eyes at the crazy woman. Tsunade was a well-known pagan practitioner to Sakura herself. Secretly always meditating and praying to her Gods and Goddesses, as if she was sure they were there... Yes, it was quite interesting considering the old woman was an alcoholic with anger issues.

"Huh?"

"I knew I would summon slugs when I sat out meditating and a little slug crawled upon my arm and I felt relief an companionship."

Sakura still stared at the crazy woman.

"Shishou.. Religion isn't my.."

"Silence! These are the terms for my assurance!"

Sakura glared. "You know I could just look into it myself!"

"Not if I lock up every book about

summoning located in Konoha!" Tsunade laughed.

Sakura sighed, obviously annoyed and her butt aching from her previous fall. Her shishou was one tough mentor. Kakashi wouldn't have given two shots about what animal she chose.

"Fine, ill meditate each day after training."

Tsunade ruffled Sakura's hair. "Get to it. After your morning's training come pick up some scrolls from me and return the ones I gave you this morning."

Sakura gaped. "But I haven't even started those!"

"Get to it after meditating then!" Tsunade ordered, knocking Sakura's feet out from under her. "It's a nice night to be outside and meditate." Tsunade hummed.

Sakura looked at the sky from her viewpoint on the ground. She remembered when she and her boys gazed at the same stars. A tear fell from her left eye.

'Come back, Sasuke-kun..'

Tsunade plopped herself beside her student. "Sit with yours legs crossed."

Sakura obeyed, facing her teacher.

"Close your eyes and incision your own spiritual plane. Peaceful, and happy. But before you can enter, you must let go." She said this, fully aware of what it meant for Sakura.

The pinkette tried, but found nothing but blurs and shadows stirring in her head.

And she tried and tried. Well into the night Sakura meditated, straining to get it right. Even when Tsunade left the girl remained. Eventually, Sakura opened her eyes, a pounding headache the sole thing keeping her company.

"Damn it.."

She looked around the area. Illuminated by the moon, it was truly stunning.

"I wish Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun and Kakashi-sensei could be here to see this..." She whispered.

The rippling of a nearby lake was her only reply. The wind swept up her shoulder-length pink hair. As if it was caressing her.

"Mm, I should see to those scrolls, I suppose." She murmured as she reached for her pack. It was standard Haruno bag; red with the white circle.

She removed the first medical scroll and began her studies. She pondered over different medicinal remedies and poisons, the different type of herbs and their location. It was very easy for Sakua to absorb into her sponge of a brain. Even if she was sleepy..

But this had become her life. Train, study, train, study, eat, sleep, train.

Everyday. Sakura didn't complain either. Her boys deserved someone better than who she was.

She'd die fighting for them. She didn't care who she lost in the process.

She fell asleep as soon as she'd finished her last scroll. Yes, she fell asleep on the training grounds.

"Hey, Sakura? Sakura..?"

Jade eyes shot open and grabbed the wrist of the person shaking her. She looked up into blue eyes.

Concerned, startled, frightened blue eyes.

"Sakura, your parents said you never came home last night..! They're worried sick!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. Ino was a backstabber. She never cared about Sakura, not like team 7 did.

And frankly, Sakura wouldn't care about her. She stood up and away from the blond, pondering if she had time for a morning training session before she headed to her shishou's.

"Sakura! You're nearly 14 years old and you're working yourself like this! Not going home, not eating, you breathe shinobi life and-"

"That's how you get anywhere in this world. You have to work to get anywhere good. You'd know if you weren't so preoccupied with your looks!"

Ino dropped her jaw, and stared at Sakura in disbelief. Since when had Sakura.. become so distant?

"I-it's then isn't it?! They abandon you and you're still chasing after them?! They left you and it's your job to go find them...? Sakura, you have people who care and love-"

Sakura clutched her head and yelled. "Everyone else can go die for all I care! I just want my boys-"

"Yeah, the whole village knows you want your stupid boys back, Sakura." Ino snarled.

With that statement, Ino charged off. Sakura stared at her feet angrily. No one understood.

She summoned a clone, and glared hotly at her opponent. She kicked her scrolls and other gear to the side before charging.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid...!'

Her clone dodged a swift punch, enraging Sakura further.

'Stupid little girl!'

She suddenly grabbed her clone's neck. Staring face to face with herself. Both panted heavily. Sakura studied her features. Even her clone's eyes had become angry.

The other Sakura dispersed, leaving the original all alone.

Alone.

She looked up at the sky. It was about time she headed over to Tsunade.

After cleaning up her scrolls and various equipment, she hurried to the Hokage tower.

When she reached her mentors office, Sakura made an effort to brush down her clothes and hair to look halfway decent. She knocked.

"Come in, Sakura." Tsunade ordered.

Sakura entered and quickly bowed. "Good morning, shishou."

"Aah. So a little birdie told me you didn't make it home last night?" Tsunade said evenly, resting her chin on her hand.

Sakura nodded. "After meditating and studying I fell asleep on the training grounds. Like you said, it was a nice night."

"Any progress with meditation?"

"No, shishou, but what happens when I find my plane-"

"One thing at a time, my dear." Tsunade smirked. "My methods may be rather harsh and complicated, but I assure you..." Her smirk changed to a genuine smile. "They're the better methods."

Sakura felt some sense of relief at hearing this. Tsunade, though she couldn't match up to Kakashi, was a very good teacher.

"I trust you." Sakura finally said.

Tsunade's ever calculating eyes stared down the young kunoichi.

"You know, Sakura, I've been hearing some things about you lately."

"What things, Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked, trying not to sound tense. The Hokage was a very perceptive woman.

"That you're disconnected.

Cold.

Angry.

Unhealthy."

Each word hit Sakura like a blow to the stomach. It was easy to ignore from people on the street and dumb blonds, but for some reason...

Hearing it from someone she looked up to and trusted almost as much as her boys... It kinda disturbed her.

"I've been focusing and putting my duties as a kunoichi first. Never show emotions. Train harder." Sakura recited. The same thing she'd tell her parents.

Tsunade gave her a hard stare. A long one too, that made Sakura's skin crawl.

With a dramatic sigh, Tsunade looked away. "Alright, trade me yesterday's scrolls for today's."

Sakura let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Then she began searching through her bag for all the correct scrolls. Tsunade waited patiently, having the summoning scrolls piled on her desk.

"You'll have to carry some of these since there's a lot. Too much to fit on that bag. I want you to read all those and I want a detailed summary on each by the end of the week."

Sakura bowed, grateful for all the work, before returning the Hokage her medical scrolls and piling as many summoning books and scrolls into her bag.

"No training for today. That's an order. Head home or to the library. Meditat before bed."

Sakura was slightly annoyed with the orders, but she would obey nonetheless. No big deal.

"See you tomorrow, shishou!" Sakura said as she left for the library.


End file.
